Vonnegut
Illustration by La Della Gallagher
I have become unstuck
like Kilgore Trout once said
I move through the rungs of time
A ladder scaling infinity
whilst I constrict
compress and
decompress
around the elderwood holds.
Sometimes it’s nice to feel connected
and I squeeze the splinters into
under my skin
the pain of moments
dashes and scores
running like dotted highway lines along my pallor
the thought
it’s fleeting
but I like the way it looks
how tangible the reminder of time is
in those splinters
in those dotted lines
in those dashes running into something like
Something
and here I am unstuck
and here I can remove myself slithering
up the rungs
down the rungs
I never need to stop and the order is irrelevant when
I am the me I was two years ago
and the one I will be two years from now
I am unstuck
just like the pain
ruminating
living in those moments
stacked
on
top
one
after
another
Because time is a singularity
not a ladder
it is one collective thought of life
one happening all at once
My past is present
my future is present
my
present is
presence
One dot, one small space in my chest
Where the corruption lies
Stretched and maligned and coagulated into
Reality
black hole
a black hole is really just an amalgamation of
Reality
my entire reality funneled into the mouth of my singularity chest
and the ages I’ve been
and the regrets I’ve had
and the pains I’ve felt
all exist at once
I am unstuck
I am moving between moments
consuming them all until they are
until I am
soft and unlived
just a wad of cells like chewing gum
stuck to the underside of a cafeteria table
stuck to the walls of the womb
bleeding for
bleeding towards
infinity