limbo of an open wound

I think I am sterilizing the needle                                                     every time I open
my mouth and an apology slips out.                                                 I think it is useless
to stitch up a black hole when                                                         it would hurt less for pain

to enter than it would to be extracted.

I think I am done with painting                                                       a protective layer
over the accretion. I think I am done                                               sheltering my story-
children, the words I keep hidden                                                    from outside in fear

they will come to know the wrench of an outing.

I am not an open book;                                                               I am a gaping wound
laid bare to avoid the ache of being                                                 lacerated accessible.
I think that this is maybe how                                                          most accidents
happen, this uncovering of holeness.                                               I understand this,

though I am too tired to heal another wax-rip shriek.

In 2018 there was a man who fell                                                    into an art exhibit;
a sculpture at the Serralves Contemporary                                       Art Museum
in Portugal called “Descent into Limbo”                                         by Anish Kapoor
that consisted of a small square room                                              with a black hole
in the ground, which in illusion                                                        looked endless

but in actuality was only two and a half meters deep.

When asked about the incident, Kapoor replied                              “What can I say?
It is a shame.”

I think I would mourn for those who have fallen                            into me
I think I would have sterilized my whole self in                               attempts
of amending travesty, in attempts of getting them out alive.